new monologue.

ADANNE

Mammy... I don't know if you're here or not... Damn, now I know I sound crazy. But I know you're real. You live in so many black women. And have in the past. My mom says that when you grin, it's because you have a secret... But I think that you're face is stuck like that. Like you're wearing a mask. I see so many black women do it, I know I often wear that same mask. We pretend that everything is okay, but inside.. we're hollow. You know?

(pause )

Sonya says black people should just get rid of statues like you, and just let go of all that hateful history. Move forward. Maybe... This past month has been hell. Being with Claire has consumed my life... and she's great, I mean, really great. But- can I tell you a secret? I don't know if I can look past this race thing... It's hard. I'm so afraid that when we walk down the street, people will see us and judge us.. not we're two women together, but because we're a black woman and a white woman together. How can I love someone unless I feel like their equal? Her whiteness is choking me. And she wants me to let go of my blackness, so she can cover us both with her whiteness. But privilege doesn't work like that, and I'm no race traitor. I want to be close to her, maybe more than she wants to let me in, but... letting her touch me takes a lot of trust. And she's too stone to let me fuck her. Me and Claire, we're a rock and a hard place.I'm tired of being hard. Like plaster. Like you. I think you're tired of it too. I think you've been trying to pick away at your layers, and find what's underneath. I think you want to melt when someone touches you, not shatter. Am I right? I really do admire you. You are everything that I wanted to be. You are so good at pretending to be perfect. Perfect posture. Not a wrinkle in your dress. Your teeth glisten. Your eyes are always steady, and I'm sure you do have some sort of secret that only you know. But I think I know what that secret is. I think we share it. You're not happy. And you don't know why. But I think I know the answer. You've got to let go. You've got to know that its okay to be touched and to love imperfectly and be loved imperfectly. You gotta know that it's okay to let go of that facade and be a mess.

(she picks up the statue. the chorus, begins to whisper. As Adanne says the next few lines, they get louder, more insistent. Adanne gives these next lines directly to Mammy)

It's okay to break free. How do you know you're being oppressed unless you liberate yourself?