Topsy Revisited- Chorus Member #1

"Sometimes I feel like a Topsy."

What?

"Or maybe I shouldn't say that. Maybe that's fucked up."

You're darn right it is. If the white girl in my Smith class hadn't caught herself, I might have had to slap her. We were discussing Rush Hour, and why characters like the one Chris Tucker played aren't seen as controversial. The point that the girl was trying to make before her slip-up was that Topsy-like characters are seen as fun-loving, comedic roles. These free-spirited clowns are appealing because they allow the actor to connect with a part of themselves that the role of the "stoic hero" might not. Okay, understandable. But the character of Topsy has a very complicated history that she seemed to have ignored. '

Topsy is a black character from Harriet Beecher Stowe's (in)famous novel, "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Although I haven't read the novel, I have read a play adaptation by George Aiken. In the play, is the antithesis to young Eva. While Eva is pious and angelic, Topsy is a monstrosity that lies, steals and causes general mischeif. Eva evokes love and sympathy from the other characters; Topsy is treated with caution and at best, barely tolerated. She has lines like "I's so wicked" and says that she "Never was born". In many ways, Topsy represents America's perception of all young black children. She is just another pickaninny, devilish and disposable.

Robert Alexander does a very interesting interpretation of Uncle Tom's Cabin called "I Ain't Yo Uncle!" In his play, he has the black characters of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" put Harriet Beecher Stowe on trial for portraying them so inaccurately. He gives depth to his characters, and the Topsy character is no exception. In the play, she is a brash, unforgiving character who raps about her "wickedness." By the end of the play, and the trial, the Topsy character comes out dressed in "hip hop clothes", holding a boombox and violently rapping. Uncle Tom ends the play by asking the audience, "Any volunteers to take Topsy? Y'all think she come from nowhere? Do 'ya spect she just growed?"

I don't know if Topsy is a mischievous trickster, or an example of angry black youth. Either way, there is a lot more going on with this character than just a clown.

Placing myself in my work- What does "Sexual liberation" mean to me?

Lately, I have been telling people that I study black female sexual autonomy. To be completely honest, I am not completely sure what this means. I understadn the individual meaning of each of these words, but I think in order to fully grasp what this means as a whole in regards to my work, I need to place myself in the context of my studies.

So. It is not easy for me to talk about my concept of my own sexual autonomy, because in many ways, I feel like I have yet to gain it. When I was nine, I was raped by an older cousin. This is something I am still coming to terms with, mostly because I cannot fully remember it. My lapse in memory has been frustrating, and I believed that the sexual assault was a fabricated memory until my last year of high school because there were pieces of the memory missing. However, this act has completely affected the way that I understand myself as a sexual being.

My cousin was not the only person to take advantage of me sexually in my life, but he was the first, which means that for a very long time I assumed that sex was something that was supposed to be taken from me. I also believed that pleasure and sex were not linked.

In high school and most of college, I was afraid of being intimate with anyone. I didn't want to get close to anyone because I was afraid of being hurt. I successfully created a non-sexual character for myself. In high school, this character even had a name- Mama Damo. But at the end of the day, I was still a sexual being. So I tried to spark romances with people that I was attracted to. However, the people that I tried to pursue didn't see me "like that." Instead, they interpreted our intimacy as a mother-child type of relationship. And being the nurturing type of person that I am, I would accept these relationships, so long as I could stay close to these people.

I also realize that my hesitancy in starting relationships, especially in high school, have to do with me coming to terms with my sexuality. I came out as bisexual my freshman year of high school. But as much as my family loves me, I did not officially come out to them. My mother and aunt came across my internet blog, in which I stated that I was bisexual. They were upset, and I tried to avoid any more confrontation about it by not dating, or keeping quiet about my sexual interests. In that way, I was able to be "in the closet" while still being "out." My family asked no questions about dating or boyfriends, and I offered no answers.

I started feeling, and still do feel, stifled. My division three is an expression of my frustration with my current sexual state. It is me reclaiming my ability to be sexual, and expressing the want to be sexual. It is also a way for me to acknowledge my sexuality, and accepting that the "mammy" character can be "queered."

Whew. That was hard. :/

Chorus freewrite

Chorus

skin so smooth
hair so soft
ass so big
pussy so tight
skin so smooth
hair so soft
ass so big
pussy so tight
hair so soft
skin so black
pussy so tight
ass so smooth
skin so black
hair so big
skin so black
pussy so tight
breasts so warm
soft
smooth
big
breasts
give me
give me
you are mine
soft, so
smooth
tight
big
big
big
big
big.
i cant feel you
but i sure want to
touch you-
every
part
of
you
(belongs
to
me.)

mammy, let me suck on,
let me suck out
your self-
worth with my
lips
covering your
mouth
don't try to speak, or even
scream, your words are not
welcome here, in this place
where nobody knows your
name, just the outline of your
body (fingers feeling in the dark
of you, looking for pleasure, or
a place to crawl back into- who knows?)
don't try to move, you are stuck
feet glued to the floor beneath that
floor-length apron, hand chained
to the handle of that wooden broom.

Sonya & Adanne

Here are two random scenes I have between Sonya & Adanne. They might not make their way into the play, but it shows what kind of relationship they have as friends. Also, they've been thinking a lot about what it means to be "sexually liberated", too. Check em out:

First Scene

SONYA. i cant believe that is still there.

ADANNE. leave it alone. my mom gave it to me,and im not gonna get rid of it. it's just a-

SONYA. statue, i know. you've said that before. and she's just a white woman, right?

ADANNE. ...what?

SONYA. the woman you're seeing. she's just a harmless white-

ADANNE. who said i was dating a white woman?

SONYA. honey, i am your closest of friends. and i happen to know that you only wear that cardigan when you're around whitey and you only wear that perfume when you are trying to get some booty. (slight pause) not to mention there was a long blonde hair in the bathroom-

ADANNE. snooping around/ my house?

SONYA. sink, and last time i checked, washing your hands isn't snooping, okay? so since all signs point to yes, i just wanna know... why didn't you tell me sooner?

ADANNE. i... didn't tell you...

SONYA. uh huh.

ADANNE. because..

SONYA. what? it can't be that bad. is the girl a distant relative of cousin it or something? spill it, girl.

ADANNE. .. i didn't wanna make it seem more serious than it is.

SONYA. what more serious?

ADANNE. we're not dating. (slight pause) we're just casually seeing each other.

SONYA. mm hmm, casually seeing each other naked.

ADANNE. sonya! seriously-

SONYA. i know you and your little venus in pisces self. i've seen all the other white biddies you've paraded through your life. i know the signs of you getting serious.. like the fact that your house is clean for once.. and there are fresh flowers on the table- wait, is she..?

ADANNE. what?

SONYA. she's coming over tonight, isn't she.

ADANNE. ..maybe.

SONYA. i knew it! well then, i guess i'm gonna have to stick around a little longer than i had thought

ADANNE. no, sonya, she's gonna be here pretty soon-

SONYA. good. hold up- she's not one of those hippy dippy white women who don 't shave and dont wear deodorant, right?

ADANNE. hey- i remember some black woman artist who decided that a razor was designed to oppress-

SONYA. yeah but my body hair doesn't grow that long-

ADANNE. and that deodorant was optional-

SONYA. okay, but i have since let that phase of my life go.


----
Second Scene

ADANNE. in this book you lent me, it says that if mamy were to be sexual, she would be the white mistresses worst nightmare. because of the white man's inherent attraction-

SONYA. or obsession-

ADANNE. right, mammy complx thing. because of that, the white woman would be threatened. but who is to say that if she was sexual, she would go for him?

SONYA. right. who ever asked if she wanted to be with him?

ADANNE. exactly! who decided that this mammy was straight? maybe mammy wants the mistress-

SONYA. id ont think that's exactly what i was trying to get at but-

ADANNE. or even better, the mistress wants her.

SONYA. why, cuz you got your own white woman you think every black woman is looking for one?

ADANNE. oh, please. that's not even what i said.

SONYA. but it's what you were implying. look- if mammy had a sex drive, there's no shame in her wanting some black dick.

ADANNE. tch-

SONYA. -or some black pussy.

ADANNE. of cours there's nothing wrong with it-

SONYA. but i think ultimately, she has to want herself. be able to look at herself int h miror and see her own self worth. that's why shes not sexual.t hats why she allows these white people to own her identity because-

ADANNE. yeah, but we're talking about a slave here. so

SONYA. no, we're talking about a fictional character. a woman who was made out of the wet dreams of white america.

(paus)

ADANNE. so do you think aunt jemima and uncle ben are knocking boots?

SONYA. what?

ADANNE. or do you think she'd be more into the guy on the cream of wheat box?

SONYA. (laughs) girl you are so crazy.... (playfully) but your aunt jemima is all up in mrs butterworth's bottle.

ADANNE. hey!

SONYA. all this talk about food is making me hungry. what you got in her to eat?

ADANNE. nothing. but- oh shit! claire's taking me to meet her parents.

SONYA. oh really? it's gotten that serious, huh?

ADANNE. well, her dad and his wife are in town and so

SONYA. his wife?

ADANNE. claire's mom walked off when she was pretty young.

(Sexual) Liberation

Okayy... and now for the scary stuff.

Sexual liberation. Sexual... liberationn... damn. A big part of me feels like I got myself in a bit of a bind with my Div II/III title. The truth is, people, I have no idea what I originally meant by sexual liberation. I don't know what sexual liberation means. Am I talking about reconfiguring our concept of the Mammy as that of a sexual body? Am I talking about allowing Mammy enough agency to discover her own sexual journey? Am I saying that liberation is sexy? And why did I put sexual in parentheses (thinking about it now, probably because I didn't have an answer to the questions that I just posed, lol)?

Originally, I was going to create a minstrel show. In this minstrel show, the characters were going to "switch roles"- The "new negro" was going to go coon-ish over some watermelon, Uncle Tom was going to find his "Brute" strength, yella gal was gonna get pregnant, and mammy... she was going to become a sex-crazed, lingerie wearing hussy. Now, I can see you asking me, "Stokely- what's the point?" And I will tell you, reader, my original Div III idea was to create a minstrel show in which the caricatures (because at the end of the day, that's what they are) try to become characters through destroying their stereotypes. However, they get a little lost along the way, and end up becoming the anti-thesis of their current stereotype, leaving them stuck.

But I'm not going to do that anymore. So now, I am trying to figure out how to incorporate all of that juicy goodness into the play that I have right now. How does Adanne liberate herself (sexually or no) in the play? How does the Mammy statue? How do the other characters?

About a month ago, a friend of mine (hi Mai!) sent me a link to a video of a woman named Mollena Williams doing a burlesque performance for the Int'l Ms. Leather Fantasy Contest. Here is a video of the performance:


Now. As I told Mai, the only thing I could think of after seeing this performance was "hmmm..." I don't think I know how I feel about the performance yet, mostly because of my own feelings on bondage (but I won't get into that) but one thing is true- this performance makes you think.

Now. Kara Walker. Oh, come on, you knew I was going to bring her up eventually! It is a known fact that I absolutely hate Kara Walker. I think she uses shock just for shock's value. And I think the woman needs serious therapy. But all hate aside, I keep coming back to her work. She has had two exhibits that I keep coming back to. The first is "My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love." The second is "Narratives of a Negress." Walker portrays blacks like animals, like nightmares. In fact, many of them are seen in her artwork feeding their Ids: fucking each other, animals, themselves, shitting and killing each other, drawn with hugely distorted features- large noses, lips, butts. But- let me stop there. This post wasn't meant to be another rant about my dislike of Ms. Walker and her work. This post is about Sexual liberation.

And what are Kara Walker's characters, if not "sexual"? (And where does "love" fit into the equation? Or does it have to?) Is sex liberating for the black female body when it is on her terms? When it is for her enjoyment? If Mammy were to be sexual, would she be something (or someone) else?

My best friend also studies the ways that the black female body is sexualized, but from the "opposite" perspective. She studies how the black female body is oversexualized. But this isn't liberating, either. I have also been reading "Venus" by Suzan-Lori Parks, which is a play based on Saartjie Baartman, the famous Venus Hottentot. Her sexuality was what her captors used to enslave her. She was displayed in freak shows because of her "large buttocks and genitals." Which reminds me of a Kara Walker index card, in which she says: "I turn invisible when I turn sideways".

So, on the other hand, the black female body can lose its power when it is oversexualized.... ahhhh.

Where is the medium? Does one have to have sex in order to be sexually liberated??

Ah.. I give up for now. I tried to take a crack at it, but just talked myself in circles.. I've got way too much to think about.