Updates- scene 1

Hey guys

So sorry about being gone for so long! I spent this past month stressing out about passing div 2. Now that i have, its time to get back into the groove of div 3. Just to clarify some things, I am now revising the play that I wrote in the spring, rather than coming up with some new minstrel show. And boy, do I feel relieved. So.. I have been trying to make the play into a two-act, and really strengthen it. Simultaneously, I am trying to incorporate some of the ideas that I had about the other play into this one, as well as use this blog as a space for me to think out my more analytical stuffs.

Right.

So I wanted to share with you guys the first scene of my play as it was in the spring, and the revised version of the scene that I wrote about a week ago. It's not a FINAL revision, but it will give you an idea of where I want to go with the script. So, here is the original scene:

Scene 1.
Lights up, on Adanne’s bedroom. She and Claire are in bed.

ADANNE. Tell me what you like best about me.

CLAIRE. Oh god, Danney. Are you serious?

ADANNE. Yes. Sometimes it’s nice when the woman that you’re sleeping with gives you a compliment.

CLAIRE. (laughs) God…

ADANNE. Come on…

CLAIRE. I don’t feel like playing this game right now.

ADANNE. (pause. Adanne is waiting for Claire to change her mind) Ok. Fine. (mumbles) Forget I even mentioned it.

CLAIRE. Alright, I’ll play along. (pause.) My favorite thing about you is that …

ADANNE. Yeah?

CLAIRE. I don’t know.

ADANNE. You don’t know?

CLAIRE. Nope.

ADANNE. You don’t know?

CLAIRE. Danney. I don’t know. As in I need some more time to think about it. You really put me on the spot. And I’m supposed to just have some answer ready for you? I don’t know. Ask me tomorrow or something.

ADANNE. One more question. (slight pause) Claire?

CLAIRE. (A bit annoyed) Mm?

ADANNE. What am I to you?

CLAIRE. Well… that one’s a little easier to answer. You’re mine. I own you. (leans in to kiss Adanne, but Adanne pulls away)

ADANNE. What did you just say?

CLAIRE. I said you’re mine. That’s not good enough either? You want some elaborately written love poem or something- (Adanne pinches her) ouch! Hey-

ADANNE. No. You said “I own you.” That’s, like, number 3 on the list of things not to say to black people. Right after the “N” word and Yo Mama jokes. Claire, we talked about this.

CLAIRE. Why are you in such a bad mood?

ADANNE. Because my girlfriend doesn’t respect me. (Claire rolls her eyes) I just- do you even listen to yourself sometimes? I think… maybe you should go.

(long pause)

CLAIRE. You know what? Fine. I am not in the mood to take your shit. (Claire gets out of bed, begins putting on her clothes) Especially after you begged me to come over here, practically begged me to screw you. Fuck your bad attitude.

ADANNE. Who’s got an attitude? You always talk down to me when we get into these fights…

CLAIRE. Like how? Tell me what I’ve said.

ADANNE. It’s like the other day. You remember? How you said that I was...

CLAIRE. Yeah?

ADANNE. So fucking black.

CLAIRE. That's it? That's, like, a compliment. (pause) I love your skin. It’s so dark and pretty and smooth.

ADANNE. Stop it.

CLAIRE. It's true. When I first met you, I just wanted to kiss your whole body. Every pigment.

ADANNE. You're ridiculous.

CLAIRE. I’m really cold.

(slight pause)

ADANNE. Well, I guess you can come back.

CLAIRE. Good. But aren't you forgetting something?

ADANNE. Like what?

CLAIRE. Like an apology?

ADANNE. Huh? I'm sorry, Claire, but I don't see why-

CLAIRE. Ah, you're forgiven. (she climbs back into bed, clutches Adanne to her. Adanne is stiff. Claire doesn’t notice.) How could I stay mad at you? You look so cute when you're wrong.

ADANNE. ...Right.

CLAIRE. You know, when I was younger, I used to wish that I were black? Yeah. I always wanted an Afro and thick lips and dark skin. But I'm just some plain white Jewish girl from upstate. Nothing exotic about that.



Anddd.. here is the scene with my revisions:



Scene 1.
Lights up, on Adanne’s bedroom. She and Claire are in bed. On Adanne's bedside table, there is a Mammy statue. It is positioned as if it is looking at the couple. In the scene, Adanne doesn't seem to notice it, but Claire is caught staring at it a couple of times.

ADANNE. Tell me what you like best about me.

CLAIRE. Why?

ADANNE. Well... Sometimes it’s nice when the woman that you’re sleeping with gives you a compliment.

CLAIRE. (laughs)

ADANNE. Come on… (Adanne kisses her cheek. She is waiting for Claire to change her mind)

CLAIRE. I don’t feel like playing this game right now.

ADANNE. Ok. Fine. (mumbles) Forget I even mentioned it.

CLAIRE. (pause.) My favorite thing about you is that …

ADANNE. Yeah?

CLAIRE. I don’t know.

(pause)

ADANNE. You don’t know?

CLAIRE. Nope.

ADANNE. You don’t -?

CLAIRE. Danney. I’m supposed to just have some answer ready for you? I don’t know. Ask me tomorrow or something.

ADANNE. One more question. (slight pause) Claire?

CLAIRE. (A bit annoyed) Mm?

ADANNE. What am I to you?

CLAIRE. Well… that one’s a little easier to answer. You’re mine. I own you. (leans in to kiss Adanne, but Adanne pulls away)

ADANNE. What did you just say?

CLAIRE. I said you’re mine. That’s not good enough either? You want some elaborately written love poem or something-

ADANNE. No. You said “I own you.” That’s, like, number 3 on the list of things not to say to black people. Right after the “N” word and Yo Mama jokes. Claire, we talked about this-

CLAIRE. Why are you in such a bad mood?

ADANNE. Because my girlfriend doesn’t respect me. (Claire winces at the word "girlfriend") I just- do you even listen to yourself sometimes?

(long pause)

CLAIRE. You know what? Fine. I am not in the mood to take your shit. (Claire turns her back to her in bed, mumbling) Especially after you begged me to come over here, practically begged me to screw you. Fuck your bad attitude.

ADANNE. That'd be just about the only thing you're fucking these days..

CLAIRE. What?

ADANNE. We've been dating for-

CLAIRE. seeing each other. (pause)

ADANNE. We've been doing whatever the fuck we're doing for the past three months. And we've only had sex twice.

CLAIRE. So? We're taking things slow. I love that.

ADANNE. Well then what's wrong?(pause) Is it me? (pause) Oh god. You don't want to touch me.

CLAIRE. No- I didn't say that.

ADANNE. You didn't say anything.

CLAIRE. (pause) I just haven't been feeling up for it.

ADANNE. So what would get you up for it?

(pause)

CLAIRE. Are you serious? (laughs) Jesus.

(pause)
(pause)

ADANNE. Do you wanna leave?

(Claire sits up. They share a look. Claire gets her things, slowly. She stands up, out of the bed, then quickly grabs at Adanne, tries to kiss her violently.)

ADANNE. What the fuck are you doing?

CLAIRE. Isn't this what you want?

(Adanne slaps her. Claire begins to cry.)

ADANNE. Oh, shit- I'm sorry. (pulls her close) Shh. Poor baby. It's okay, it's okay.

CLAIRE. You promised to take care of me-

ADANNE. I know-

CLAIRE. You promised-

ADANNE. I'm sorry, I was wrong. Not till you're ready. Okay?

(Claire continues to cry violently, but soft laughter is also heard in the background. Lights fade)


The endings are clearly different. Here, Adanne is actually put into a mammy-like role. It helps to explain how accepting she is of taking on the mammy role later in the play. It also shows a more vulnerable side to Claire. And the lack of intimacy in their relationship allows Adanne a chance to be sexually liberated. Although, I'm really stuck on the idea of what "Sexual liberation" means. If anyone knows of any good readings, please let me know.